Some things are Better Left Untouched
by Lumiellie
Summary: What if Severus was bit by Moony before James could get to him? What if everyone's favourite Potions Professor had to face the prejudice about being a werewolf? Follow the Marauders, Snape, and Lily, throughout their sixth and seventh years after Severus is inflicted with lycantropy.
1. Some Wounds Run Deeper Than Others

**DISCLAIMER- I do not own any of the character that are in this, except for the characters that I create myself.**

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Severus Snape had an ambitious desire to discover where the teenage Remus Lupin went every full moon. He had just received knowledge from Sirius Black that if he touched a knot on the Whomping Willow, that would petrify it and there was a secret passage under it. Perhaps it had something to do with the reason the werewolf looked pale after every full moon and would usually miss classes for a day or two afterwards. Severus had no idea that Lupin was a werewolf, but he was just about to find out.

He was sitting in Potions class, listening to Slughorn aimlessly describe a blood-replenishing potion that they would be making that class, since it was double potions. It was sixth year so thankfully the dunderheads had been weaned out but to Severus's dismay, Potter and Black were in it. So was Lupin and Lily, but Lupin wasn't here, presumably "sick". He shot a quick smile towards Lily, but it remained unreturned for she reviled him for what he accidentally called her last year; a mudblood. Severus regretted it as soon as it slipped out of his mouth, yet even he couldn't forgive himself. He had lost the only person who truly cared about him and without Lily, he was no one. To make matters worse, the fiery red-head was succumbing to the charm of James. Severus completely hated James. The only thing that the glasses-wearing, messy-haired boy was good for was to inflict pain upon him.

Slughorn kept on rambling on and on about the blood replenishing potions, causing Severus to become bored. He was way too smart for this basic first-year knowledge and he craved more challenging material. He wanted a career as a potions master, a quaint and quiet career that would allow him to work at his own pace. He sighed with loneliness, he was the only person in this class that would be working without a partner. The dunderheads in his house dropped out of this course as soon as they could, meaning that they could focus more on working for the dark lord. Severus was tempted to join the dark lord, no one ever cared about him; except for his mother and Lily, but they were only two people. The rest of the people at Hogwarts wanted nothing to do with the greasy-haired kid.

It wouldn't really matter if Severus worked by himself- he probably could do better than anyone in this class combined. Even if there was a lot of people. Severus knew that he could easily outsmart these people. Looking around, Severus noticed that Slughorn was wrapping up, meaning that everyone would start working together. He did a quick headcount and Severus realized that there was an even number of people in the class, given the fact that Remus was missing. Sighing, Severus realized that he would not be working alone, left to his own devices. He saw everyone else pair off and realized that Lily was left without a partner. Sirius had persuaded James to work with him.

Sighing, Severus walked over to Lily Evans, where her face was quickly becoming the colour of her hair. She did not want to work with Snivellus. As far as she was concerned, their friendship was completely over and she wanted nothing to do with the greasy haired kid. Little did she know that Severus was the complete opposite, he wanted to fix his damaged relationship with the beautiful, green-eyed girl. "I guess I'll cut up the ingredients and you put them in the cauldron, since you're the best at that," Lily sighed, wanting to work with her best friend Emmeline Vance, but she was working with Marlene McKinnon.

"I'll do that," Severus replied, nodding his head as he started to boil the water in the cauldron. He wanted Lily to forgive him, to allow him to be her friend once again, just like their first year at Hogwarts. Back then, they were extremely close, not letting the inter-house rivalries get in between them. Yet Severus's interest in the Dark Arts allowed their strong bond to falter and shatter apart as the two former friends slowly became enemies.

Lily nodded her head, ignorant to the fact that Severus was trying to ameliorate things in between them. She also didn't know that Severus was doing something extremely risky that could lead to his death that night. She didn't know that the greasy-haired boy was planning on following Remus to the shrieking shack. Heck, she didn't even know that the sandy-haired boy was a werewolf, despite the two of them being quite close. After ditching Severus, Lily became quite close to Remus, yet she didn't know that he was a werewolf.

Eventually the two former friends finished the potion. Severus took the honours of bottling it and placing it upon Slughorn's desk. Lily took the time to clean up, a little annoyed at the fact that Snape wasn't cleaning. _He did most of the brewing so I guess it's only fair for me to clean up. Even though if I were working with someone else, they would be helping out. Especially Remus. Had the two of us been together, we would have been a dynamic duo, possibly better than Snape could ever be. What am I thinking? Snape's like a teenage potions master. Too bad he's turned to the dark side. He would have made a great healer,_ Lily thought to herself, her eyes bearing into the obsidian eyes of Snape.

Soon enough, class was over and everyone began to head their separate ways. Snape was excited for it to be the last class of the day, he was going to find out where Remus would disappear off to every night of the full moon and figure out why he did it. Thanks to Sirius- Black, he would be able to find out why Remus would disappear and tell Dumbledore. Surely, if Remus were any danger to Hogwarts, Dumbledore would expell Remus, right?

* * *

After sitting in the Slytherin common room for what seemed like hours, Severus looked at the clock on the wall. It was eight thirty and the full moon would begin to rise soon. Putting down the potions text that he was angrily reading (it had way too many errors for Snape's liking), Snape went up to his dormitories to prepare where an unpleasant surprise was awaiting him. "Hey Snape," called Mulciber.

"Hey Mulciber, I need to get ready. I'm going on a walk tonight," Severus whispered, not wanting anything to do with what the future-death eater. He was clearly planning something and Severus didn't want anything do do with it.

"Oh, where you going?" Avery asked, his beady blue eyes flashing with excitement.

"Nowhere, I just need to clear my head."

"Oh, did that mudblood you worked with in potions cause someone to get a little heart-broken. We all know you used to fancy her, chances are you still fancy her. She's a filthy mudblood. You have better friends in us!" complained Mulciber who had probably learned about Severus's partnership with Lily in potions from someone else. Perhaps he had learned from the Marauders himself, but Severus remembered that his 'girlfriend', who was in potions, had most likely told him.

Severus grunted something inaudible and walked out of the dormitories into the Slytherin common room. Seeing no one he wished to recognize, he headed out of the dungeons. His mind was unusually calm as he walked up staircases, ran down hallways, and disturbed several painting. He encountered a group of first-year Gryffindors when he began to approach the Great Hall and sent them a look that could make Dumbledore wet himself. _Ten points from Gryffindor,_ Snape thought to himself, _Curfew is in half-an-hour._ The three of them ran off, nearly screaming. Smirking, Severus continued on his way and reached into his pocket for his wand, which was still there. The greasy-haired boy sighed in relief as he ran out of the front doors of the school. Even if he weren't going to the whomping willow, Snape was severely in need of fresh air.

The quiet November evening had a peculiar smell to it, something like blood and Severus thought he could hear something similar to the screams of a human. He ignored this, blaming it on the insanity that lurked within. Having an abusive father and no friends really did a lot of damage to someone. No one, not even the strongest witch or wizard could deal with it for extended periods of time. His beat up shoes squelched against the moist grass- it had rained earlier that day. Severus felt truly at peace out here.

The moon was almost risen and Severus could almost see it trying to peek its head out of the clouds. Distracted by the sounds of his shoes, Severus didn't realize when he had reached the whomping willow until it was almost too late. Mentally cursing himself, he ran off to find a stick. In the distance, he thought he could hear someone who sounded a lot like James. Blaming that as well on the insanity, Severus found the perfect willow-poking stick. He found the knob on the thrashing tree, barely dodging a rogue branch that had the intent to knock him out. Once that knob was poked, the willow stopped thrashing and Severus easily found the hidden passage.

The passage itself was cool and damp, causing Severus to shiver, despite him wearing his winters robes. It probably had to do with the fact that the greasy-haired kid was nearly starved to death while he was at home and found that he was unable to eat large portions of food at Hogwarts, even after three months. His stomach was simply unable to adjust to the larger portions of food.

He heard screaming again and was beginning to think that the screams were real. In the background he was beginning to hear James's voice. He did not want James to see him and attempt to get the greasy-haired kid in trouble. Every Slytherin knew that Dumbledore clearly favoured his own former house, Gryffindor, and would take a Gryffindors side over a Slytherins, even if the Slytherin had done nothing wrong. Dumbledore would probably assign Severus detention with Filch for a month.

Hearing the voice of one of his worst enemies, Severus kept on running forward. He _did not_ want James to ruin this for him. He entered a building that had blood on the walls. Fearing for the worst, Snape pulled out his wand. He could be a hero and maybe he wouldn't be bullied again. Maybe Lily would be his friend once again. Maybe the Marauders would leave him alone. "Let them go," said Severus, firmly and boldly as he stared at a grimy window which showed the moon.

His eyes were met by an amber pair.

* * *

He could smell the presence of a human and there were many emotions that lingered with the scent. _Bravery._ _Fear. Heroism._

Perhaps the strongest emotion that he could smell was _hope._

It didn't matter to him, all he wanted was more human blood, enough to sustain him for one more moon.

He had a particular thirst for the blood, he wanted more and more of it.

The werewolf noticed that the sense of fear was getting stronger and stronger.

The human muttered out something that summoned him, made his taste for blood grow stronger with each passing second.

Following the scent, his eyes lingered on an obsidian pair.

He attacked.

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James could hear screams as he ran to the shrieking shack. They did not belong to Remus, nor did they belong to anyone he knew. He had ran ahead of the other Marauders; previously that day, Sirius had told him that he had told Snivellus how to get into the Shrieking Shack. Fearing the safety of the werewolf -he knew Snivellus would tell the entire school about Moony's secret-, he transformed into Prongs, who had a faster running speed. He ran and ran and the screams kept on getting louder and louder. The howls of the werewolf seemed to be getting more prominent, as if the werewolf had found a target.

Once Prongs had reached the Shrieking shack, he knew something wasn't right. He transformed into James and draped his invisibility cloak over him, thankful that the werewolf couldn't see through it, something they had tested out the previous year. The thought of Snivellus slipped his mind and he ran around the Shrieking Shack. He knew that Moony couldn't tell the difference between friend and foe and he knew that Snivellus had probably encountered Moony.

He heard a human scream, someone begging to be killed.

Something definitely wasn't right.

That voice belonged to the one and only Severus Snape.

Despite the greasy-haired boy being his sworn enemy, James knew that leaving Snivellus here would lead to his expulsion. Possibly the expulsion of all the Marauders.

In an attempt to distract the werewolf, James pulled out his wand and muttered, _"Petrificus Totalus,"_ and immediately the werewolf grew stiff, unable to move. Using that to his advantage, James ran to the greasy-haired boy. What he saw almost made him vomit right onto the floor in the kitchen of the Shrieking Shack.

Severus's normally greasy hair was slicked back with crimson blood, there was a gash on the side of his face which was bleeding slowly but steadily. There was a huge tear in the abdomen in the robes of Snape and that was profusely bleeding. He noticed how underweight the boy was, he clearly wasn't eating enough. Where his sleeves were rolled up, there was a huge gash followed by paled white scars, followed by some fresh scars. _Snivellus has a self-harm addiction,_ James thought to himself, finally realizing how badly his bullying impacted the boy. He didn't know Snivellus was addicted to hurting himself.

"Please...leave...me...here...to...die...don't...want...to...be...a...were...wolf," Snape gasped, hoping that James would take the message and leave him where he was.

James ignored Snape and picked up the boy, carrying him in a cradle carry. He had to go to Madame Pomfrey. James ran out of the Shrieking Shack, carrying Snape, ignoring the cries of pain and protest that Severus was making. Once he was a suitable distance away from Moony, he took off the invisibility cloak and faintly heard the voices of Peter and Sirius. Casting a quick Lumos, to brighten things up, he gently took off Severus's cloak and was about to take off the shirt when Severus screamed and begged, "Don't...take...off...the...shirt...there...are...scars...my...dad...whipped...me...with...a...belt...too...many...scars..."

James's heart broke into multiple pieces. He had never had a glimpse into abuse and never wanted to. His parents had never failed to express their love to him and he thought that's the way all families were, except for Sirius. He didn't know Snape's family was like this either. He ignored Severus's pleads and took off his shirt, which had a hole in the abdomen and he staunched the flow of blood with it, ripping the cloak of the boy into a few pieces. He gently used that to hold the shirt in place while he waited for Peter and Sirius. The two of them could help with Snivell-Severus.

Finally, they arrived. "I need your help carrying Severus back. Moony bit him. I'm sorry, I didn't get to him in time," James cried, letting a single tear fall down his face. Had Severus never been attacked by Moony, he would have continued bullying Snape, not knowing what the Slytherin was going through at home.

Sirius immediately went pale, realizing that it was his fault that Snape was bitten. He knew that James never cried. To make James cry, something serious had to happen. He realized that there was more to Snape than what meets the eye. Clearly James had to have figured something out about the Slytherin that no one except Lily knew. He reached into his bag and pulled out some silver powder and some essence of dittany. "These will seal the wound, without these, the wound will never heal and bleed continuously until he died. I kept these on hand in case one of us ever got bitten," Sirius announced.

"That means...he'll become a werewolf..." Peter whimpered, wanting nothing more than to run away and go back to bed. The rat animagus stayed brave and continued staying where he was, despite feeling like he was going to vomit all over his best friends.

Severus screamed as they put the combination of elements onto his cuts from Remus, screaming louder as the two elements caused the cuts to seal up immediately. James picked up Snape who whimpered in pain and they headed up to the hospital wing, unaware of the consequences that followed their actions.

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Hey, I hope you all enjoyed this! I know I've been wanting to read a fanfiction like this for a long time and I couldn't find one. That made me decide to write one myself.

Next, the Marauders confront Sirius about his actions and a little bit of Snape angst.

~Lumiellie


	2. The Permanent Scar

**Disclaimer: Sadly this will never belong to me. Only the plot belongs to me.**

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Severus Snape's POV

I, Severus Snape. the newly turned werewolf, woke up in the hospital wing surrounded by the Marauders. All of them except Remus, but that was to be expected, given the fact that the last night had been a full moon. I remembered the events of the previous night, from being attacked and being healed by James and a scream left my mouth before I could control it. "Shhhh, it's okay, Snivell-Severus," whispered James Potter, also known as Prongs.

Suddenly I remembered the events of the previous night, from sneaking out and encountering Remus, to James finding out about the scars I've kept hidden forever, the scars I never wanted to see. I don't want anyone to think any less of me because of them. People in Slytherin can be cruel like that. I've seen people go crazy under the pressure of trying to be perfect. Slytherin bullies those who aren't worthy enough, even members within its own house. Being a half-blood myself, I can say I've had a hard time fitting in. That's why I turned to the blade.

A wave of anger rushes through me. I absolutely hate Sirius and Remus and James and Peter for what they've done to me. They've turned me into a monster, someone who I will never be able to control. "Piss off James," I yell, my weak voice cracking on the words. Lack of usage has caused it to sound strained and painful, the effort causing the wound on my stomach to react negatively. I groan in pain and this doesn't go unnoticed to the rest of the Marauders. I remember Remus attacking me in the stomach. It was the worst physical pain I had ever felt, even worse than the beatings my father gives me.

"Listen Snape. We need to talk about something, there's something seriously wrong with you." James whispered with a concerned tone to his voice. It took me a minute to realize it but I knew that he had seen everything- from the abuse to my self-destructive habits. He even saw that sometimes I would go a long time without food, not wanting to eat due to the constant lack of appetite. I even admitted to him that my father whipped me. My lips contorted into a frown as I kept on thinking about this and I turned my head away from James, not wanting to talk to him at all. One apology could not make up for years of bullying. Once again, I repeated, "Piss off James. Go away and hang out with my near-murderer. Go flirt with Lily some more. Do whatever you want. Use the killing curse on first years. Make out with Dumbledore. Just leave me alone!"

"Snape, I know what you do to yourself. Just let me make up for all of this. Please." James begged, literally on his knees. I was having none of it. He probably wanted me to admit all of my mistakes to him so that he could use them against me. I didn't want anything to do with him. Sure, he may have saved my life, but I didn't really care. He had bullied me so many times. It led to me feeling so useless, and hopeless, and tired of living.

I wanted to yell at him even more, but the pain in the wound on my abdomen was beginning to grow unbearable. What once was a dull pain now felt like someone was literally tearing open my stomach. Tears began to uncontrollably form in my eyes; I wanted dreamless sleep potion. Hopefully I could become addicted and have something to aim for- my next fix. My next choice would be something for the pain.

Peter ran off, presumably to tell everyone that Snivellus was crying. I didn't know that he was getting Madame Pomfrey so that she could bring me something for the pain. "Looks like your little friend ran off to tell everyone that "Snivellus" is crying. If you want to make up for all of this, kill me so I don't have to live with the burden of being a werewolf for the rest of my life. You don't understand how hard it's going to be for me. I'll never be able to have a job- or a family (not like I wanted one) and I'll probably be kicked out of Hogwarts. You'll just continue living like I was never anything important to you! You probably only saved me so Remus wouldn't kill me." I yelled, crying at this point. Normally I would be embarassed to be crying in front of the Marauders, but at this point, I couldn't care less. The pain in my head was growing to the point where I wouldn't help but scream.

Oops. It looks like I accidentally said the truth. James yells, "You're right! The only reason I saved you was because I didn't want my best friend to become a murderer. That's until I noticed that you hurt yourself. Severus, you're addicted to cutting yourself. You starve yourself. You admitted to me that your father abuses you. It's all my fault. I take the blame. Perhaps if we had befriended you, you wouldn't be right here now, crying because you don't think anyone would dare care for a basket case like you. If we befriended you, Sirius wouldn't have ruined your life. If we had been your friend, Remus would never have bitten someone. He had always hoped that he would never contaminate another human being. It's my fault that this happened. Well guess what? I'm sorry!"

James runs out of the hospital wing, looking like he's about to cry. I can't help but feel a little guilty, but that feeling is erased by the fact that James had been making my life hell since the day we met. A tear rolls down my cheek and I realize how much I'll miss being human. Peter comes back now with Madame Pomfrey close behind, carrying quite a few vials of potions. She comes to me and encourages me to drink them. "Come on, Mr. Snape. You'll feel a lot better," she tells me in a soft, velvetty voice.

I knock the potion out of her hand, causing the bottle to shatter all over the floor and the silvery liquid to puddle all over the place. Peter runs out of the wing, leaving me and a fourth year who had accidentally transfigured her leg into a spoon. I scream, "No! Werewolves don't deserve anything except hatred!"

What I don't realize is that Madame Pomfrey uses that opportunity to dump the potions down my throat. I swallow all of them down, cursing them for their terrible taste and I fall into a deep slumber, silently cursing everyone who had ever walked the earth.

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James Potter's POV

I feel extremely guilty right now. Not only did I just walk out on someone clearly having a mental breakdown, but that person just happened to be my arch-nemisis, Severus Snape. He isn't the same person that I thought her was, ever since I figured out that he's not as mentally stable as anyone thought he was. Apparantly he's an abused child with a self-harm addiction. Neither I or any of the Marauders have dealt with it, but I know what it looks like. It's almost scary the thought that it's been me that's been causing all of this pain for Snape. I'm no better than the person that abuses him.

I run to the first bathroom I see and empty the contents of my stomach into the first toilet I see. I've been feeling nauseous for quite a long time now, but recent events have made everything worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sirius run into the bathroom. He asks me, knowing it's me whose throwing up, "James, are you okay?"

I finish retching and yell, "It's not okay Sirius! It's all your fault! You've ruined the life of Remus, he had hoped to never bite anyone. Yet, because you couldn't restrain yourself, you had to go and tell Snape about the Shrieking Shack. Remus could be executed for this! You could be expelled for this!"

"Surely you can't be concerned about Snivellus. It's _Snivellus,_ it's not like Lily was bit or anything!"

"First of all, don't call him by that childish name. It's immature and it makes you look like you have the intelligence level of a flobberworm. Second of all, you don't know what Snape has been through. His father _abuses_ him. He _cuts_ himself. Sometimes he doesn't _eat._ It makes me sick just thinking about how I caused all of this to happen. Our petty, childish hatred led to him hurting himself."

"Woah, James, are you in love with Snivellus or something? Clearly you must be, if you weren't, you wouldn't be defending him like this."

"Sirius, I'm straight. We both know that I'm in love with Lily and feel no romantical attraction towards males at all. It's just, how would you feel if you bullied Peter and figured out that he had been hurting himself and your bullying had led to his suicide."

"I'd feel terrible."

"That's how I feel about Snape."

I finally feel like I'm getting my point across to Sirius, who has to admit, he would hate himself if one of the Marauders killed themselves. He would feel terrible if he had played a major part in it. "Sirius, you need to know that Snape absolutely hates himself for falling for one of your pranks. It's your fault- not any of ours- that he was bit by Remus. He literally broke down. He's in that much physical, emotional and mental pain. He didn't even react like that when he accidentally called Lily a "mudblood". He's probably never going to find a mate or a job, because of a stupid, childish prank that went to far." I yell, running out of the bathroom. I hate Sirius right now, he can't just apologize like a normal person. All because of petty, childish, annoying, rivalries.

"Look, James, I'm sorry," Sirius says in a solemn tone.

"It's not me you need to apologize to- it's Snape. You can find him in the hospital wing. Until you can do that- I doubt you will- I refuse to be your friend."

* * *

Ohhhhh, plot twist.

Next chapter, Snape talks to Lily and Remus feels extremely guilty. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter.

~Lumiellie


	3. We're All a Little Insane

**Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me. At all. Except the characters I create myself and the plot. There is a suicide attempt in this chapter and mentions of self-harm.**

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Severus Snape woke up, and wanted to get out of the stuffy bed that he lay in. His cuts that had been healed by that arse, Sirius, ached like never before and he wanted out of the bed. The last thing he remembered was shattering a potion on the ground because he refused to take it, after that, he remembered having Madame Pomfrey slipping it down his throat. He groaned at the thought, he had wasted someones precious potion.

His eyelids fluttered open and his pupils adjusted to the harsh light from the windows. Looking up at the windows, the sun appeared to be setting. He had slept for half a day and yet he craved more sleep. He wanted no more than to go back to sleep, yet he was in too much pain to even bear sleeping. He propped his head up onto his hand which was suported by his elbow and looked around the bright hospital wing. Two beds down from him was a sleeping Remus Lupin. Even though he was sleeping, Severus noticed how pale the werewolf was and how much pain he looked to be in. The very thought of being a werewolf made Severus's head spin and he began to hyperventilate, not prepared for what happened. Everything seemed to swirl around in circles and he closed his eyes and rested his head on the pillow. The bed didn't feel stuffy to him anymore, likely due to his dizziness. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he had been woken up by a scream. He looked out the window and it was much darker out.

He watched the werewolf shatter a glass against the nightstand, not thirty seconds after Madame Pomfrey had left, and Severus thought it had been in anger. Rolling his eyes at the werewolfs destructive ways of coping, he didn't realize that the werewolf had decided to kill himself. He immediately screamed, hoping to get someone's attention. Sure, that same person may have ruined his life, but he didn't want Remus to kill himself.

* * *

 **Five minutes earlier**

"You have bitten Severus Snape," Madame Pomfrey said, tending to the greasy-haired kid who thankfully was asleep, "You might end up being executed by the ministry but the staff at Hogwarts will fight it. We know you're a great kid, very intelligent, and you just suffer from something serious once a month. Occasionally twice a month."

"I did what?" Remus Lupin howled, unaware that tears were welling up in his eyes. He remembered vague bits of the previous night, his eyes meeting with obisidian orbs, attacking someone, being stunned, and not having any animagus to hang out with. Even now, he felt the metallic tang of blood in his mouth and just wanted to get rid of it. He looked to the night-stand beside him and saw a clear glass of water. He picked it up with shaking hands, spilling a little on the bed and blankets, and drank it, thirstily. The crystal clear water had the slight flavour of lemons and it cooled his throat down. Finished with the water, he set the glass on the night-stand, mentally thanking whoever had put it there.

Eventually, he realized what he had done. _You_ _bit another human. You have infected them with your filthy disease, Remus. Their life is ruined, thanks to you. It's all your fault, you pathetic monster. You are completely worthless,_ Remus thought to himself. Wetness dripping down his cheeks, Remus didn't even realize he was crying until he was sobbing. Crouching into a loose ball and covering his face up with his blanket, Remus wanted nothing more than to cease existing. _Normally after you wake up from a transformation, your friends are here for you. They aren't here this time because you're a monster and they've finally realized it. They want nothing to do with you. James, Sirius, and Peter, they probably just thought my lycanthropy wasn't serious until someone got bit. Now they're going to hate you. They found out about it and you saw the disgust that they were trying to hide._

Realizing that his friends were never going to like him again, another tear slid down the cheek of Remus. Had they cared about him, they would have been here right now. Sirius would have been cracking him up with his bad jokes, James would have been telling him hilarious stories, and Peter would have acted like the loyal friend he was. The news would spread like wildfire that he's a werewolf and the bullying would be too much to endure. Before his secret got out, he would have had a slight chance at having a job, yet now he would never be employed. He wasn't a part of a famous wizarding family that had a lot of money either; he was a half-blood from two mediocre families. He already cost his family too much.

 _Maybe I should just end it all,_ Remus thought to himself. He looked up from the blanket and noticed how damp it was from his tears. Madame Pomfrey left the hospital wing, probably to eat something. It was around dinnertime and his stomach growled at the thought of food. _After all, the Ministry will probably kill you, for you've bit someone. You've ruined someone elses life. You have nothing else to live for Remus. Nothing at all. Your once-loving family will disown you and you'll be forced to live on the streets. Chances are, you'll transform on the streets as well, mauling innocent people and killing them. You're a monster. That's all you ever will be._

Staring at the glass next to him, Remus eyed the glass lustfully. He grabbed the glass which once held water and slammed it against the nightstand, watching it shatter into a million pieces. The glass shattering was a metaphor, for his life had seemed perfect once until he'd been bit. The once-whole glass represented Fenrir Greyback, and he was a little shard. Despite the glass breaking, there would always be shards of it. Now he would continue that metaphor by using that glass to end his life. The shard that he would choose would represent how he had accidentally bitten Severus, an innocent person who didn't deserve what had happened to him at the hands of the werewolf.

Picking up one of the shards of glass, Remus stared at it longingly. He ran his fingertip along one of the edges and felt the skin split and the pain radiate. He smiled, not realizing Severus was staring at him. He looked at his left wrist, unmarked with scars. He slid the sharp edge of the glass against his skin vertically, a smile on his face. He could finally be free. Then he heard a scream and watched the blood spurt from an artery in his wrist.

* * *

 **Present time**

Lily Evans was just about to visit Remus Lupin at the hospital wing. Last year, he had entrusted her with his "furry little problem" and it didn't make her think any less of him. She heard a scream of horror and burst into the room and was astonished by the sight. Next to Remus, there was a shattered glass. Two beds down, Severus Snape, looking paler than usual was sitting up in his bed, dark circles under his obsidian eyes, making the whites of his eyes even more prominent than before. The real issue was within Remus. His back was turned towards her and Lily knew that was something that she had to investigate. If she didn't, things would become a lot worse than they currently were.

She ran to the other side of the bed of Remus and noticed an unnatural smile on his face, a smile that made him look like he was at peace. His green-blue eyes looked down to his arm, which was covered in a blanket, staring at nothing. They almost appeared to be glazed over. She looked at his torso and noticed that there was a bunch of blood. Madame Pomfrey never made mistakes, Lily was sure about that. She lifted up the blanket and saw the shard of glass, with the slight tint of blood. _Remus tried to kill himself. But why,_ Lily thought to herself. Remus was an extremely kind friend and would never hurt a fly. She tried to find where he was bleeding, her heart racing and found his left wrist, a cut seven inches in length.

The worst thing was, the cut was spurting blood.

Lily thought and quickly muttered, _"Episkey,"_ and watched as the cut sealed itself up. The haunting smile on Remus's face quickly turned into a frown, even though she had just saved the life of the werewolf. "Remus, why did you try and kill yourself?" she asked, wondering why someone as smart as he would dare to hurt himself.

She was not prepared for the answer that she received, "I bit Snape, Lily. I actually bit him. If James hadn't saved him, I would have killed him. I turned someone else into a werewolf. I'm probably going to be persecuted by the ministry for this, I'll end up being slaughtered with thousands of people watching. I'm a monster, Lily. That's all I am." Remus replied, starting to cry once again.

Snape who begun listening to that conversation, climbed out of his bed, beginning to feel dizzy. Ignoring this feeling, Snape took a few steps forward until he was right beside Lily, "Remus, it's okay. Why would you try and kill yourself. Especially because I'm the worthless one here. James is just feigning being nice and as soon as I fall for it, he'll continue being an ass. I'm just a worthless Slytherin who just happens to be a werewolf." Snape said, his voice void of any emotion.

Lily's face fell as Snape said that. Despite him calling her a mudblood, she couldn't believe he thought that low of himself. All the things were falling into place now. While the two of them had been paired up for potions the other day, his sleeve had fallen down his wrist. Lily had taken a good look on the inside of his wrist and noticed all of the scars on it. There were some old ones, and some freshly made ones. He quickly pulled up his sleeve, not wanting her to see anything, but it was too late. The damage had been done.

She had always known that her former friend had become depressed after he had accidentally called her a mudblood. She had noticed the familiar signs of his depression, but she didn't know he'd been hurting himself. Lily was shocked, to say the least, "Both of you guys aren't worthless. You need to know that both of you are beyond amazing friends." Lily muttered, hoping they would know how amazing they are.

Lily muttered a cleaning spell and cleaned up the blood from Remus's bed. There was a slight pink stain, but it was hardly noticeable, unless you were looking for it. She muttered a repairing spell and caused the glass by Remus's bed to be repaired so he couldn't hurt himself. Last but not least, she cast an unbreakable charm on the glass, making sure Remus wouldn't use it to hurt himself. It absolutely killed her to realize how hurt her friends really were.

"Lily, just yesterday you hated me! Why the change in heart?" Severus asked, a look of pure astonishment on his face. He had always hoped Lily would forgive him, that she would understand his constant apologies, yet he never expected her to. He had always expected her to hate him, to never be his friend again. She had been the one that had saved him from his Dad. A single tear trickled down his cheek.

"Severus, you hurt yourself. That's not healthy for _anyone_ to do. I never thought you'd be that impacted by the loss of me. Promise you won't do it again." Lily whispered, hugging Severus. She wanted the greasy-haired boy to be okay, for him to understand that she was there for him.

The doors opened to the hospital wing and they were slammed shut, and Severus had realized that it was Sirius Black. Not wanting to face Sirius, Severus stumbled back into his bed, nearly tripping over his feet once again. He jumped into it, the cuts on his body beginning to hurt again. All he wanted to do was cry and hurt himself. but he couldn't do that, not while Sirius was here. "I'm not going to promise Lily. It's an addiction, something I can't control," Severus whimpered, a hurt look on his face.

"It's a terrible addiction Sev. Why would you do that to yourself?" Lily asked.

"I can't control it."

"Please try. I can't stand seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry. It's not something I can control. It's not like you would understand. You seem to think that you know everything about me. You always judge me before understanding why I do what I do."

At this point Severus was unable to control the tears that spilled out of his eyes. He buried his head into his pillow and sobbed, not sure he wanted to be friends with Lily anymore. She simply didn't understand how he felt! Eventually he was aware to someone rubbing his back and it was Lily. "Please promise you'll get help. Please." Lily begged, wanting her former friend to be okay.

"I promise Lily."

At this point Sirius had walked up to Remus. He had just lost his best friend thanks to Remus biting someone. So what if he had told Snape to go to the Shrieking Shack? So what if he told him how to get in it? "Look Remus, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that it's my fault that you bit someone." Sirius said, earnestly.

"I accept your apology, but there's someone else you need to apologize to. He's right over there." Remus said, wanting Sirius to apologize to the newly turned werewolf.

"I'm not sure I can do that."

"You'll have to."

"I don't want to."

"Then I won't be your friend anymore. This is all of your fault. I attempted to kill myself because of you. You don't know what's going to happen to me. You don't know if I'm going to be executed or what-so-ever. Sirius, all you do is just jump into battle without thinking what's going to happen. That's not brave! In fact, that's the most cowardly thing you can do Sirius. You only did this for your hatred of someone else, rather than caring about your best friend. If you don't apologize, I'll never be your friend again, Sirius. I mean it!"

"I guess I'll do it..."

* * *

NEXT CHAPTER- Sirius apologizes to Snape and it's classes. In the next chapter, follow the Marauders, Snape, and Lily as they move through a peculiar school day.

Until next time.

~Lumiellie


	4. Reluctance

" _I guess I'll do it…"_

Sirius had to admit that he was slightly nervous about apologizing to Severus. They had been enemies for so long that he didn't have the courage to do such a thing- and he dared call himself a Gryffindor! Truth be told, he was having a hard time accepting the fact that he had been the sole person to cause Snape to be converted to a werewolf, not James, definitely not Remus or Peter, but him. And he was the only one to blame for Remus attempting to kill himself. Truthfully, too much was going on for him to even process anything.

So much had happened in one day. The conversion of Snivellu-Snape. James convincing him to apologize to Severus and then Remus attempting suicide. Then Remus had tried to tell him to apologize. Every single thing was pointing to one sign and Sirius wanted to ignore it, to force it deep within him and never have to deal with it again. He did feel guilty, but not because Snape was bitten, but rather that his best friend was so torn about this. Sirius couldn't imagine ever doing something as drastic as cutting his own wrists open and forcing blood to come out. It was just plain unthinkable. He didn't want to die.

But, if he didn't apologize, Sirius feared bad things would happen. Every single girl that saw him wanted him, yet that would change if he lost the friendship of the Marauders. Sirius was certain that it would. Suddenly, no one would view him as no more than the boy "who was dumped by the Marauders". And the Marauders were known for sticking together no matter what.

He couldn't stop himself from staring at the pale face of Snape. The boy appeared to be wanting him to say something. And Sirius couldn't ignore the pain in those obsidian black eyes. It honestly was too much for him to bear and for a second, it was like he was viewing the pain in the eyes of James. Though the eye colour was not the same, the pain appeared to be, and it was getting harder and harder to leave alone. Before he knew it, the words slipped out of Sirius' mouth, "Snape, I'm sorry."

Snape appeared to be confused by the choice of words. He cocked his head to the right as if he couldn't believe that his worst enemy had chosen to apologize to him on his near-free will. "Umm, thanks," Severus said.

"No, I mean it," Sirius added quickly, not wanting to appear as if he didn't mean to apologize. He sighed and walked closer to Severus' bed, noticing the absence of cards and little trinkets on his nightstand. If Sirius had been injured-which had happened several times- his friends would have sent over many pointless gifts that they became meaningless and the table overflowed.

"As if," Severus sarcastically laughed. He picked at a thread in his blanket, and looked at the ceiling, evidently wanting to escape.

Remus looked at his friend, and Sirius could see that the werewolf had a slight glint of knowledge in his eyes about something, "What are you thinking about Remus?" Sirius asked.

"How I wanna snog Lily," Remus smiled, looking at Sirius with a goofy look on his face.

"As if, you know James likes her."

"That's why I was joking. Can't you ever take a joke, Sirius? Or are you too Sirius to do it?" Remus laughed, finding his own pun absolutely hilarious, his suicide attempt forgotten for now.

"Can you just SHUT UP! I'm trying to sleep," Severus complained angrily, pulling his pillow over his head.

"You weren't trying to sleep five minutes ago," Sirius said.

"Well, now I am. And since you caused this, you can just shut up."

"Look at you two, fighting like an old married couple," Lily laughed, nearly tipping over the chair that she was sitting in. Sirius had forgotten she was in the room, but the present moment was a reminder of that fact. "What's next, adopting a child?"

"Lily! We're in our sixth year of Hogwarts," Sirius complained, "We're not going off and randomly adopting kids. Especially with Snape."

"I'm not, but you are," Lily giggled. Sirius noticed that she must have brought her mind off of the topic of Severus' condition and Remus' suicide attempt. This made him feel moderately happier, especially seeing that she had been completely serious earlier.

* * *

 **2 hours later.**

It had been an hour after everyone had left and it was just Severus Snape and Remus Lupin who remained. Severus Snape found himself interested completely in the state of the ceiling, which was unfortunately as drab as ever. Nothing inside him had really changed ever since being converted and he found himself wondering when all the changes would happen. In fact, the only change in his physique was the scars that now wracked his body.

He surprisingly didn't feel suicidal anymore, but he still wanted to die. Earlier, when Sirius had apologized to him, everything seemed barely normal. But now that everyone was gone, he was left alone to linger in his restless thoughts. He couldn't help but think that Sirius' apology was less than genuine and more forced than anything. And he hated that this was the case. It truly sucked that he couldn't obliviate his mind to stop from thinking about anything. Because that truly would make him feel better. But maybe, like Lily said, he needed someone to talk to about it. Perhaps he had been holding the emotions in for too long for things to process, and the only way to remove those emotions was to have an emotional outburst. _Maybe I'll talk to Madame Pomfrey when she comes back,_ Severus thought to himself. Maybe she had already found someone.

Across the room was a resting Remus Lupin. He was worn out and upset, something that Severus could now relate with. And he could relate even more to being a werewolf and how much it sucked. Severus regretted his choice to even trust Sirius' idea to go to the Shrieking Shack. If it weren't for his stupid decision, Severus wouldn't be laying in the hospital wing right now. But maybe it was the only reason that Lily dared to talk to him.

The Hospital wing was now getting dark because the day was now turning into nighttime and Severus finally could get some rest. For some reason, he had a hard time sleeping during the day, even if things were pitch black. In fact, it might have something to do with his childhood.

He was slightly shocked when Madame Pomfrey came into the room, having a tray of food float towards him and another for Remus. As the food floated towards him, the medi-witch walked towards him and Severus found himself reluctantly saying, "I think I need some help."

* * *

Thanks for reading. I'm really, really, really, _really,_ sorry for not updating in forever and I apologize for the low quality of this chapter. I just found myself tempted to give you guys a new piece of writing. I promise to try and write more often.

Next, Madame Pomfrey helps Severus and then the peculiar classes and possibly a fight.

See you next chapter,

Lumi.


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